Listening

This process is less about the story they tell you and more about how to listen for feelings. Their feelings need to be listened to more deeply and talked about.

For example, if you are listening to someone talk about how their day went, be in the Process of Becoming Better at Listening; listen deeply; listen to what they are saying. You will hear a sigh, a change in tone, a giggle. What do those mean? Do you ask? For instance, you might ask, “Hey, I noticed you sighed when you mentioned your co-worker John. What’s going on?” Be curious and trust the way you feel when you’re listening. Be in the process of Becoming Better at Listening, Be in the process of learning; it will reward you every time, and the person talking will appreciate you being present in the conversation.

Listen to the person’s story, but stay involved by asking questions about what they think or how something made them feel. If you only listen to the story you will never know how it truly made them feel or affected their life. Also, it is very easy to just listen to what they are saying and not hear what they are saying. The process of discovering their thoughts and feelings will become priceless, to you and them.

So often we are more concerned about what we are going to say rather than what is said to us. But the truth is: we learn from what we hear, not what we say.

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